What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Bad grammers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops