why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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what is brown and sticky? a stick.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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