How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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