- Anti Joke

person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" pewpew

What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

which one is easiest

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Obama

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??