Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops