there was once a jew

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I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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I need to start studying.

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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if you don't like this you're gay

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops