What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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You bumder!

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Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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