oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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Without geometry life would be pointless

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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