Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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it's funny because it's funny

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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F? No k

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Faithful men.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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