Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops