A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

If youre African, why are you white?

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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