Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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who's a slut... you're mom

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Pianos.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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