What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

I'm 4 and what is this?

a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

knock knock come in

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

what's the difference between a crocodile?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...