Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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I walk into a bar...

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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