Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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knock knock whos their a person

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops