Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

What if the rest of you value something wrong?

So a horse walks into a barn.

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

You bumder!

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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