How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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