Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Choir.

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How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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What? Why?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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