Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why girl die cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +11

1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's the difference between a black man from San Diego and a white man from Miami? A: They live in different cities, and in the presidential election, the black man voted for Obama and the white man voted for McCain

thumb_up thumb_down +11

[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops