What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is life? Paul.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +7

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When is a door not a door? Never.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

National security?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops