Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

The WNBA.

A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

What happened to your hamster? It died.

roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

Stealth baseballs record

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...