A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops