When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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Prostitution is bad.......

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N-E Pats never cheated

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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