What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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This is not a joke

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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View Terms of Service

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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