How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Religionh

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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Women's rights

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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