Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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