What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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