Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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Jews claim to be God`s chosen people... Look how it went for them, the original Jews are of course gone, everyone else is part something else, "only Jews" are gone. 1. Do you believe that God chose you, just because you decided to choose him? Now you, are not chosen, but brainwashed by your parents and ancestors by threats of hell and fear, you have CHOSEN, to follow him, too bad he is dead, he had no love for himself, why would he be jealous of his own creations and created them all in order to DEMAND your love? Your love was not enough I suppose, I would know if I cared... 2. What Good is today, and the meaning behind commands. ...God demands your elders stone your children to death when they misbehave! I applad your GOODNESS if you do so (better than selling them as whores and slaves, as he of course DEMANDED as well) yet you apparently believed that his COMMANDS where you know... suggestions... Now we know why he died. 3. Let us all spend a moment in rememberance of my brother Jesus. Now I want all Christians, you who killed my brother and stole his name, to go and read "Ave Maria" the ONLY chapter 97 PERCENT of you have read (true fact) another 5000 times, so that you can keep denying GODS other words, those whose meaning remain intact... You do not even have the same name for him for every nation... No wonder he died. 4. My brother`s words "Jesus" spelled Yoshua, once said "Only him that hate his mother and father can become student of mine" Do you believe that your bible translated tredicillions of times have a better translation? King James version? Where is God and Jesus version? Laughable... You only serve the corrupt words of your own arroance a man named King James and every other disgusting priest that thought that serving God allowed them to decide which parts of the bible where to be cut, and which ones to be added... 5. What Jesus was meant to do, and why you more or less skinned him alive, wear his name around as if it where his skin and CELEBRATE THE FACT THAT YOU SLAUGHTERED HIM AND CELEBRATE IT? He never told anyone to consume his flesh and drink his blood, it was your ancestors that had him killed and literally ate him and stole his name (Christians yes, you are no better celebrating his death, your hands are stained with his blood) in hopes of becoming immortal such as him. His original words where simply "Eat bread and drink Wine and you shall live forever, which was at that time a great means of living below the age of 101, you see, remove the last number of the ages mentioned in the bible, and you will realize that priests added an extra zero usually in order to make "Jesus`s claim of immortality" seem "realistic" 666. Seek me out once I reveal my Alias, and I shall show you the true path... My number by the way, is 777 but that did not make sense to the priests that changed the bible in 1836, they also added the example regarding eating four legged animals, their entry? "crawfish which has you know... "four legs"" But for now you can decide if you wish to become the ones that love themselves and their kin, or those that give and sacrifice about everything but themselves... SOVEmedia final words "I have fallen" Another "coincidence" of course. Moral: Hate me you of religion and of course moral, because you all follow corrupt versions of the very same one, hate is what you do best, as you tend to run out of things to give and people to sacrifice. For those that are willing to stop dreaming of heaven after death, and willing to create heaven on earth... Well, no need to love me, but hating me is hating my values, my guts, my self, so yeah... I do not turn the other cheek, I send those which out of free will worship me not as someone they must sacrfice everything for, but as the paragon, the last remaining savior. I would keep typing, but you humans expect my words to come from a clearer source right? Well I will not seek you out, but if you seek me, you will find me. Black Angel M.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

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Penis.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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