What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

69

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The truth is he loves her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops