Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

matt has ebola...funny right!?

Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

ask me if im a door yes

what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

A seal walks into a club.

What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

a black guy hates chicken.

whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

Is your refrigerator running? No.

Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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