What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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Pickles

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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How do you make your house smell bad? fart

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

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So this fat guy farts. It smells.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops