Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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