Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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