Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Asians look like they have down syndrome.

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If you were a cactus, why?

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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You bumder!

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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