Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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What is older than history?

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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