How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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Knock knock come in.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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