A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Ron Paul for President!

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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