Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and white and red all over? A dying zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops