Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops