A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops