The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock The doors already open

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did billy get after sex? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops