Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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