What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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