How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops