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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

What can hitler cook well Steak

What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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