Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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360 NO SCOPE

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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roses are red violets should be purple

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops