Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Women's Rights

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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