Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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This is a joke.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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Death by kayak

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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