Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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