What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Dont read this joke

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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