A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

Poop!!

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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