Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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GOODBYE

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops